You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my poor anus
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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