You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
