I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize