Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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