Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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