yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
