Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
