I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
