I bet he comes in French.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
