Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
