Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
