Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
