worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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