Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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