i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
