you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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