she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
