The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
