what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
