Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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