**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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