My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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