Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
