what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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