That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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