Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I pour the whiskey from now on
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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