Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
