From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize