She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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