K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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