how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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