I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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