just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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