Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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