i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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