first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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