Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
