Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
