Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
