he wants to bone in the snuggie
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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