all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
