my room smells like sperm. sweet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
