Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
