maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
