whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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