Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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