Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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