HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize