Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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