just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I didn't notice because vodka
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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