did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
