As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
