So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
