Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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