I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
