Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Boobs are out for the taking
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
