I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
