2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
