So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He has the fingertips of a God
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
