i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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