I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
