don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
