we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
