...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
